"I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save
Who cares if you disagree
You are not me
Who made you king of anything
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything"
- King of Anything Lyrics

Late one night I was sitting up with my friend and in the giddiness of night signed me up for an on-line dating service. I spent 15 minutes trying to think of the right tag line. I don't think this world is for me. I took my profile off the next day, mainly due to embarrassment. It was hard to admit that I needed to explore on-line dating to find a date.

As I was talking this over with my friends and family, my brother remarked that you needed to be able to just put yourself out here and not care what anyone else thought of you. Two years ago this would have been a completely foreign concept. Now, this is something that I work on everyday. Am I completely comfortable with who I am? Isn't that the first step to being able to put yourself out there?

My sister chimed in, it is all about self-confidence. Where is this self-confidence found? Can I buy it by the gallon?

Over the last year, I have been discovering who I am. I know I like bacon over sausage. I like brunettes over blonds. I like the smell of rain, the feel of the book I am reading in my hands. I am strong. I am odd (or unique as my friend calls me). I am more to one person than I ever imagined. I am a good person. I look people in the eyes when I say "thank you". I would help someone in trouble. I don't always know the right thing to say, but give me time and I will come up with something. I am not my parents or anyone else I know. I am a good best friend. I see bums for desperate people, but I do see them as people. I care about people. I like to put cream and sugar in my coffee. I like to feel the wind on my face as I ride a roller coaster. I am a cautious risk taker, but a risk taker none the less. I love adventures. I make trouble when I get bored. I am a right-side brain person (at least at home). I love to play. I can have an opinion, I may not always have the right one, but I have one. I like purple. I like to walk barefoot. I like girly things. I like poker. I love friends. I love to meet new people. I am not that outgoing at first and I am impatient.

All in all, I know a lot more about myself. I don't know that I will ever stop discovering new sides of me, but that is all a part of the adventure.

But now that I know about me, I need to work on not apologizing for it. I need to be able to tell you "I am sorry you don't like me, but I am going to keep being me." For one week, I am going to work on saying that line, and stepping out there and being me.

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