So Long Past. Hello Present, Did You Bring Future with You?
Every time I miss a particular person I reread our last words to each other and I remember the pain. I remember it was like a part of me fell away. Pain can be a good reminder. Pain can also be good inspiration to live the life we have and enjoy the good things. How come the happier I am the guiltier I feel? Why do I need to find a way to sabotage every relationship without giving it a chance? Is this relationship good for me? Yes, beyond a doubt, this relationship is a very good thing for me. Is it scary and do I want to run a way? No. Yes. No. Gosh, it is, but the best part of it is that I am not letting that dark side of me win. I can’t do this alone, but this time I don’t have to. I am going to inch by inch start to shed the walls I have built. Nothing I can say or do can change what happened before. But something can be said for the future. And for the first time in a really long time, I can see a future I am not afraid of.